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Soldiers Share The Best Thing They’ve Heard Their Drill Sergeant Say
Soldiers are each country’s, unsung heroes. They don’t most often get the credit they deserve in spite of all the sacrifices they make. But, their drill sergents are the ones who train them to be the person they are.
So here we have compiled a list of the things heard from a drill sergeant by their soldiers.
“I am going to take a crap in a box and send it to your parents for sending me theirs!”
My battle buddy and I were ordered to dig holes, so when we’re about to the waist he proceeded to turn on a hose. He started to fill the holes with water and told us to stay in the hole. Another Drill Sergeant walks by and asks him what he’s doing. He says “I’m watering my petunias”.
This is actually my father in law’s story- he was in basic and a guy missed a spot shaving. So the Drill Instructor yelled at him “GET UPSTAIRS AND SHAVE EVERY BIT OF HAIR OFF THAT STUPID MUG AND GET BACK DOWN IN FORMATION!” Everyone had to do push-ups for as long as it took him.
He comes back and the Drill Instructor got up in his face, did a double-take, and screamed, “SOLDIER, WHERE ARE YOUR EYEBROWS?!?”
The Bunny Game
A recruit interrupted the Chief to say, “Chief, there’s a bunny rabbit behind you.”
Chief looked like his brain had actually shorted out, then responded, “Is it armed?”
We were lined up in 4 rows, or “Elements.”
One day a lone soul lined up in his own element. The instructor came running around the corner staring at this guy. He got right up to his face and screamed,
“ARE YOU BRUCE WILLIS?!”
“No, …sir” he whimpered.
“THEN WHY ARE YOU IN THE FIFTH ELEMENT?!”
I had to use everything within me to not laugh.
Large Black Navy Chief (E-7) walks into our compartment one day and says he feels like making it rain. Then before I could get ready he’s already dropping people on the deck and making them do intense exercises. He walks up to one recruit and asks him “Does Chief like Hennessy or Hypnotiq?” “Hennessy Chief”. “WRONG, YOU RACIST I LIKE JACK DANIELS” then proceeds to turn up the PT on this individual. The next person, “Is Chief good at basketball or football?” “Basketball” “WRONG, CHIEF IS GOOD AT EVERYTHING”.
I was working with a Drill-Sergeant in the parade square when he saw one recruit marching by himself. Now when marching in a squad, you have to march at the same step as everybody else to look smart and uniform but when you’re by yourself, you only have your own steps and cadence to follow.
The Drill-Sergeant says to me “Watch this!” and then proceeds to scream “YOUNG MAN YOU ARE OUT OF STEP!” and the recruit just absolutely craps himself at the confusion and just runs away in fear! That had me in stitches for a long time and he told me it was his private ritual he follows with every new intake he gets.
We were lined up in a platoon formation at parade rest and one of the recruits was staring off in the distance at some seagulls. So the Drill Instructor says, “RECRUIT DO YOU LOVE BIRDS!” Recruit responds, “YES SIR!” Drill Instructor says, “SO BRING ME A SEAGULL!”. While we went back into the squad bay the recruit chased seagulls for about 2 hours. Then something unexpected happened… He freaking caught one! He brought it into the squad bay by the neck flapping all over. The Drill Instructor lost his crap laughing (behind his cover of course). The Drill Instructor comes barreling over and out of habit the recruit snaps to attention and drops the bird. Chaos ensues. One recruit kills the thing with a flashlight as it flies by, at which time we all had to hold a vigil for “our fallen brother”. It was probably the best day in all of bootcamp.
Drill Instructor was away for a bit at dinner chow. Most of the platoon decided to get chocolate milk (big no no). Drill Instructor knows all about it and doesn’t say anything. We get back to the squad bay and he yells at us to get out our 1 quart canteen. Drink it. Go fill it up. Drink it. Fill it up. Drink it. By the time we hit #4 everyone was vomiting on the floor. I have never seen so much puke.
So one time in basic we had this kid and boy did he love candy. So he went to the nearby store and bought/hid a bag of skittles. Of course, locker searches for contraband come around and he’s sweating. Somehow, the Drill Sergeants miss the bag and he looks better. Then as another recruit moves out of the way for his Drill Sergeant, he trips and knocks over the guy’s locker. Skittles everywhere! It was a pretty big bag too. They had him dig small holes for every skittle and each morning he had to go outside early to water them in order to grow a rainbow.
My Drill Sergeant spotted a hair on my chin and yelled that my face looked like his testicles. And then made the rounds back to me and whispered “that was a compliment, my testicles look fantastic” just loud enough for the guys in formation around me to hear. Nobody broke out in laughter but the dude next to me had tears rolling down his face from keeping it all in.
Last day of basic. “Remember when I flipped all your beds and tore your lockers apart cause I found a nail clipper on the floor? Those were mine.”-
“You all remember when I told you to drill like you’ve got someone you care about watching you out there? Well, if you don’t have anybody, do it for that groundhog. He’s got his eye on you.”
There was literally a freaking groundhog taking a crap 10 feet away from the formation. Funniest thing ever.